One of the most annoying things about the year 2020 was how often I found myself stuck inside the house. If a house is big enough, I can wander around indoors for maybe a week and be alright. Then I simply have to go outside. Being outside feels almost magical sometimes. It does wonders for my empty extrovert fuel tank when I simply go sit out in front on our driveway. There are neighbors across the street. If it’s summer, I see loud and brash blue jays swoop boldly from tree to tree and sometimes land on the grass next to me just to show how brave they are. “KEE! KEE!” They scream, with great courage, but only once they’re back up in the trees. If they were down here, I’d show them a thing or two.

Something I’ve learned from being outside like this is that extroverting doesn’t always require people.

Find that hard to believe?

I’ve also found that a lot of people have the opinion that introversion and extroversion is on a spectrum, and that we all just move along that spectrum and don’t stay anywhere. I’ve met some people that have even said something along the lines of “We’re all pretty much ambiverts,” which is not entirely incorrect, because we all use and require in life both introversion and extroversion.

People do use either extroverted or introverted functions (see “The Eight Functions”), but it’s not about all of us being ambiverts, or constantly changing from introvert to extrovert and vice-versa. I do believe that there are true extroverts and introverts. Though some people might be closer to the middle of the spectrum (read: “True Ambiverts: the Extroverted Introvert and the Introverted Extrovert”), we will still get our energy from either extroversion or introversion.

The Islands

I think of the spectrum of extroversion and introversion like a series of islands. You have the centermost islands and the outermost islands, as well as all the other islands in-between.

Introverts get their energy from their innermost islands, which allows them to travel to the outermost islands when they need to. Our innermost islands are the things of our inner world, such as our home (especially our bedrooms), our mind, our memories, our values and beliefs, and those who are closest to us. This may be why some of my introvert friends seem to like being at home so much (I am mainly talking about a natural preference here, some extroverts are homebodies too and there are many introverts that love to travel).

Interestingly, even though both of my parents are introverts, my mom has mentioned a few times that she and my dad could hang out together without draining one another’s batteries. I believe that this happens due to people becoming a part of the introvert’s innermost islands (i.e. becoming one of those people who are closest to us) and therefore canceling out the loss of energy that happens normally.

Similarly, I believe that those who are closest to an extrovert may actually give them less extrovert fuel. When I come home to my family, I feel relaxed. There is a sense of having reentered a quiet and dappled wood, which doesn’t bother me at first. I have grown used to the woods anyhow. However, I’ll sometimes delve right into talking with people once I get home, because I find that my fuel is dropping low again after I used it up driving home by myself. Talking still gives me some energy, at least.

Like the yang to the introverts’ yin, Extroverts get their energy from the outermost islands.

What do the outermost islands looks like?

They are the things outside of us, such as other people, the environment and objects in the environment, society, culture, and feelings and thoughts that aren’t ours. And, I would also add, things that are new. New information, new experiences, new people, new places—new is a very extroverted sort of thing. It has an expanding quality to it, because it brings us outside of our comfort zone and beyond what we already know.

Something you might find odd about me is I really like strangers. Not all strangers are safe (that is why there is the term “stranger danger”), but most people have good intentions. Many of them are very interesting and might even end up becoming new friends. I tend to make friends very easily, so that may be part of the reason why I have always enjoyed strangers so much. They are all potential friends to me. I will talk to any stranger on a plane or at a restaurant, and often find myself learning many people’s names and stories along the way. It’s a fun adventure, and if most of my interactions end up being positive, I will come home feeling very happy.

Traveling, of course, is a great way to meet new people. Perhaps that is why some extroverts, including me, love traveling so much. It combines two extrovert activities into one. New places are exciting and interesting to me. Even places that I have visited before usually have something new about them, and that makes traveling back to places I’ve been a fun experience as well. For example, Arizona.

As I’ve mentioned before, I loved living in Phoenix, so going back is usually a treat (once I get used to the heat, anyway). There are new buildings, new things happening, and my extended family members living there usually have something new going on in their lives as well. If it’s been quite a few years since I visited, there’s a combination of new and nostalgic awaiting me. The air is still just as hot and dry as I remember it, but now we’re going to a new park or to a new store. That place in the strip mall that used to be a Safeway? Now it’s a Goodwill. We go in, and I’m greeted with all sorts of shapes and colors and fascinating knick-knacks, with plenty of people browsing through them.

I’m experiencing this Goodwill with the other people who are there. I wonder what other people are experiencing, or I simply browse and imagine all the possibilities that different things can offer. Eventually, I leave the store with a few new things. I found a new shirt or two there, and I’m imagining all the possible outfits I’ve just unlocked. How exciting! Inside, I’m saying something like, “Woo-hoo! Let’s go to the next store and see if we can find more stuff and more people!”

I’m an ENFP, and since Extraverted Intuition (Ne) is my dominant function, I’m energized by all the possibilities my surroundings offer. You may be a different kind of extrovert with a different dominant function, so you might be more energized by warmly interacting with the cashier, picking up items and trying things on, or organizing things as you walk past them.

Shopping often has lots of new things, and it’s another way to visit those outer islands, even if you’re shopping by yourself (though there are some places where I would never go shopping without another person). Of course, if you’re not careful, this can become very expensive. If you want to save money, try window shopping instead. Check out my other article on that if you want, "The Joy of Window Shopping: 4 Different Browsing Styles for Extroverts," for some ideas.

Conclusion/To Be Continued…?

I think the biggest reason the internet tends to point most commonly to people as extroverts’ source of energy is because people are often the furthest from our inner islands. People are unpredictable. You don’t know what they’re going to do or say next. They have distinct thoughts and feelings from you. There are so many things to experience with a person too—their voice, their body language, their appearance. You might even see them as a resource, and yes, this is true, people can also be resources.

In order to interact with a person, someone has to reach out. They can’t see inside your head, and you can’t see inside of theirs—so as you try to connect with each other, you’re both leaving your inner world behind to come to the edge of what you know, so that you can get to know what the other person’s world looks like. You’re expanding into unknown territory, and seeing if you’ll be able to fit into someone else’s world. Maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll seem like an alien to them, or they’ll seem like an alien to you. It’s a chance to explore.

However, despite being with people giving probably the most energy to us extroverts, there are still other ways, possibly many ways, to go to the outer islands as an extrovert. I’ll likely be covering more of these outer island experiences in another article.

Tags: Extroverts, ConceptsTheory