The way social media and the internet in general treats other people is sometimes just plain sad. Things like negativity, criticism, attacking, trolling, silencing, and the spreading every kind of garbage possible, are rampant online. It can sometimes be extremely difficult to share your thoughts, feelings, beliefs, or even just your own simple opinion online, for fear people will tear you apart. I believe the internet and social media were made for way better things than this.

Hey, I like memes, but now, quite possibly thanks to memes, there are genuinely real people who see extroverts and introverts like this:

I literally did both of these things during covid. I had to do something else besides looking longingly out the window for friends that weren't there and at my calendar for social events that didn't exist, right?

Okay, it wasn't that bad per-say, but it was pretty bad.

Also, don't introverts get cabin fever sometimes too? We're not meant to be inside all the time, we need that vitamin D! (Among other things, like, I dunno, a break from screens and some fresh air?)

Why am I talking about covid now, you ask? It's 2024, 2020's old news at this point. First of all, no it ain't. Our entire culture has shifted. The workplace has changed, the economy's changed, people's attitudes towards the government and healthcare systems have changed, even our view and treatment of introversion and extroversion has changed.

The reason I mention covid here is that I believe that, post-covid, we are now a more introvert-friendly society. People understand and accept introvert needs more, and introverted strengths are getting more recognition in our culture than they likely used to. That's good thing, but there are some problems popping up as the tables are turning.

Such as how we now view extroversion and extroverts nowadays.

Encountering the Meme

Around the time I entered the realm of teenagerhood, my mom got into personality theory. She shared her findings with me, and thus I learned about the 16 personalities (sometimes also called the MBTI or Jung  personalities). I also discovered the dichotomy of extroversion and introversion, and I found out which of these 16 personalities I was—an ENFP. An extrovert. We had lots of discussions about all the different types, and I eagerly dove into all of the personality books and articles available to me to learn more about myself and others. I finally felt this sense of knowing myself better than I had before. It was a nice, neat framework of patterns of thinking and behavior that I could relate to and build off of.

Unfortunately, I found out that in the online community, there are a lot of stereotypes surrounding each of the personalities, most of which I believe range from somewhat harmful to extremely harmful. Sometimes, stereotypes conglomerate together into the infamous “Internet Meme.” Memes cover a range of styles when it comes to humor, but they often showcase the sarcastic, cynical, dark, chaotic, and sometimes even cruel styles of humor, depending on the person creating them (see the Dream Face Reveal). They are usually comprised of videos, photos, and words (specifically captions), but they are also an idea or concept.

Take, for example, the internet meme concept of an ENFP. Are you seeing a sparkly unicorn or a fairy? Perhaps you’re imagining someone with ADHD? This is the internet meme. It's really only useful for shallow humor at the expense of another person, even if there's some relatable shred of truth in it. An ESFP might be imagined as a empty-headed, self-indulgent party animal (possibly also with ADHD), while an ENTJ might be envisioned as a brusque, commanding, overbearing CEO of a company (not sure what the mental disorder associated with ENTJs is).

Seriously, the CEO thing is real. All it took was one search with the keyword "entj" and I got this:

The CEO? No. The Wizard Commander? Heck yeah, let's go with that!

These types of stereotypes are not only restricting (what if someone, who is an ENTJ, doesn’t want to be a CEO of a company, but someone else, who is an ESFP, does?), they can also be discouraging. Imagine having yourself be automatically sorted into boxes of what you can and cannot do and who you are and who you aren’t, or being told what flavor of broken you are in comparison to the current norm.

The 16 personalities are about discovering the way our minds work, our own and other’s preferences and how we can affect the world around us, and some of our natural strengths and weaknesses. It's not a definitive list our capabilities and it doesn't explain the complex entirety of our true identity. If you are an INFP with a passion for accounting or an ESTJ with a passion for doing art, then I know with certainty that you can do it if you have the determination and are willing to learn and grow.

Anyone can be a good listener. Anyone can be a good friend. Anyone can think deeply about life. And anyone can learn to dance. You just have to want to and to choose to. This kind of attitude is much more empowering. You can acquire any good quality you wish to acquire or learn anything you wish to learn, all you have to do is practice!

Now, that is not to say that each of the personalities, introverted and extroverted, do not have different needs. They do. I have different needs than, say, an ISFJ or an ESTP. It makes sense why some personalities would be drawn more consistently to certain careers, lifestyles, or hobbies, because of the needs they fulfill.
But here I am, an ENFP, writing an article alone in my room. I love writing, it’s a passion of mine. Just hearing that, some people would probably assume I’m a mistyped INFP instead of an ENFP!

If you’re thinking that already, here’s something that will maybe convince you—I’m not a fan of libraries. They're too quiet (to the point of being stifling) for socializing, and, even though I enjoy reading, sometimes I feel like finding a good book among all the crappy ones is impossible. Do you believe me now?

On top of being a writer, I am also an artist and a musician. These things require me to be alone most of the time in order to focus and get anything done. If I'm not careful, I could be alone for hours spending time drawing or writing or playing piano, to the point that when I finally finish I find I have transformed into a human zombie. I start shutting down. Doing these things as careers would mean that I would have to find some other way to meet my needs for extroversion and socializing.

This is one reason I also got into voice acting (along with everything else!). Voice acting meets my need for discovery and meaning in my life by giving me an opportunity to learn new things and develop my natural gifts. I think voice acting is actually secretly a really good job choice for ENFPs. Acting is at the top of many lists of best jobs for an ENFP, and voice acting also pays really well and you don’t have to go through all the awful stuff that normal actors often go through. You can even work from home!  I love voice acting because I can make super bizarre voices and sounds without anyone seeing my face. Well, unless they videotape me and share it in the bonus features of a movie or something. Also people will probably be sort of watching me perform in the booth anyway…

Oh well. Back to the topic at hand.

Stereotypes are, in my experience, unhelpful for the most part. I think we should start seeing the internet memes for what they are and stop stereotyping others. People can be categorized, but the labels do not define who we truly are. I think we should start seeing the needs and desires that we and each person has instead of seeing the behaviors only. We’re not Tamagotchi pets or internet memes, we are people!

Extroverts are not needy dog sprites who follow and drag the introverts around in a desperate attempt to play with them, and introverts are not hermits who hide out in the libraries with cats! Extroverts are energized by engaging with the outer world (which does not always mean people are involved!) and introverts are energized by retreating into the inner world (and sometimes certain people don’t drain them!).

Introverts, when you feel tired and want to take a break from connecting with people, I get that need. I respect that need. I grew up with introverts. I’m not one, so I don’t really know what it’s like, but I get it. You need that “me time” alone, by yourself, to reflect and recharge. We all need alone time every now and then. I’m not going to shame you just because you’re different from me.

Extroverts, I truly get that feeling of disappointment when your friend cancels plans for hanging out. I get how awful the year 2020 probably was for you with all the quarantining alone at home. The Zoom calls and the texting and being online in general were not substantial enough. It was like living off of Ramen noodles and Twinkies instead of real food. There were moments when I wanted to badly just to talk to someone that I felt like screaming! I totally understand just wanting to be out there with people, loving and feeling at home in the bustling crowds and cities, and wanting to celebrate, even when your friends and family totally do not feel like it.

If we could all just see each other as people, children of God who all have these needs, which are sometimes different and maybe even conflicting, and have compassion for that, I think we would have a much better world. God sees your needs, just as much as he sees mine. And he can help!

So let’s avoid stereotyping each other so much. Let’s look deeper and get to know real people instead of labels. Let’s try to help each other instead of putting each other down. Let’s add more positivity, encouragement, safety, thoughtfulness, and understanding to the internet and the world around us, and let’s spread more goodness and light, whoever we are and wherever we go.

Tags: AllExtroverts, AllPosts